The court room was filling fast with on-lookers and curiosity seekers. Everyone wanted to be in on the history-making court martial. Nothing like this had ever happened in Brevard, North Carolina before.

The prosecution stood and addressed the court. "General Osteen, would you be so kind as to address this court as to your recommendations for the specifications and charges against the accused"

"General, Sir. These are the charges against Colonel Art McRae:
Charge 1: Conduct unbecoming an officer of the United States Army.
Charge 2: Discharging a weapon in a civilian home.
Charge 3: Destruction of civilian property."

"General, Sir. The specifications to each of the charges are:
Specification 1: Colonel Art McRae was, at the time of the incident, drinking beer in an enlisted mans house. He was fraternizing with enlisted men. Clearly a violation of Article 37(b) subsection 1a of the Uniform Code.
Specification 2: Colonel Art McRae failed to properly clear a weapon and it fired when Colonel McRae pulled the trigger.
Specification 3: The said discharged round passed through a blanket that covered a $10,000 leather sofa, tore a hole through the back of said sofa and passed through the wall into the adjoining room where said round passed through a 62-inch plasma tv, destroying the image of a very important event...
The Super Bowl."

The judge sat in silence, a thin sneer creasing his fat lips. He couldn't wait for the trial to begin. After all, he wasn't known the world over as "Hangin'" Judge Dewey for nothing. Here come da Judge! Here come da Judge! Let the fun and games begin.

Prosecutor Bates stood and addressed the court. "Your Honor, General Osteen and members of
this General Court Martial."
Prosecutor Bates stepped up to the podium, took a deep swig of beer from the glass and continued. The microphone in his hand didn't waiver as his steel-grey eyes seared into the side of Colonel McRae’s face. "I fully intend to prove that Colonel Art McRae is in fact, guilty of all charges and specifications against him."

"Hangin'" Judge Dewey sat back, closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He had twenty years on the bench and knew how to time his remarks for the ultimate stage effect. He picked up the microphone and, in his deep voice, said: "Get on with it!"

Prosecutor Bates called his first witness, Command Sergeant Major Charlie Ponds. CSM Ponds had just returned from four years in Iraq and was well acquainted with the accused.
Prosecutor Bates gazed out over the court then settled his eyes on the witness. "Tell this court in your own words exactly what happened on the evening of 31 January 2007."

CSM Ponds glanced over at McRae. He noticed the colonel was wiping his quivering lips with a white hanky. Then he looked at Prosecutor Bates. "We were partying it up at a friends house and..." "By 'partying' you mean drinking beer, whiskey and all other sorts of disgusting things?" "Well, Sir, they weren't really that disgusting..." "Just the facts, Sergeant Major, just the facts!" CSM Ponds glanced back at McRae and saw the ever-present white hanky. "Yes, Sir. Anyway, we were having a gay time when someone brought out this 9mm Glock. Colonel McRae picked it up and..." "How many drinks did the Colonel have up to that point?" Cut in Prosecutor Bates. "I don't rightly know, Sir. Maybe four or five. Maybe eight or ten. Anyway, the Colonel pulled the slide back and let it go. Then he pressed the magazine release and popped the magazine out. He then pulled the trigger and since he had inadvertently chambered a round, the weapon fired."

The white hanky moved feverishly across the colonel's lips. Prosecutor Bates leaned forward like an wolf ready to pounce. "Go on, Sergeant Major, go on." "Well, Sir. The shot scared the hell out of just about everyone there. That round went through the sofa, through the wall and busted the hell out of my friends brand new 62-inch plasma tv." "And what were you watching, Sergeant Major? What were you watching?" "The Super Bowl, Sir." CSM Ponds answered meekly. Prosecutor Bates spun around and faced the court. "The Super Bowl! You were watching the Super Bowl!" "Yes, Sir. The Super Bowl." "And who won that game, Sergeant Major?" CSM Ponds licked his lips. "We don't know, Sir. We didn't have a tv to see the ending..."

Prosecutor Bates looked from the CSM to Colonel McRae to the Judge. "You didn't have a tv because Colonel McRae put a 9mm round through it!" Prosecutor Bates turned to the Defense Attorney. "Your witness, Sir."

Defense Attorney Stanley "Get 'em Off" Shank took the mike from Prosecutor Bates and called his first witness. "I call CSM Charlie Ponds!"

CSM swallowed hard as he shuffled to the witness stand. "Sergeant Major Ponds," interjected Defense "get 'em off" Shank. "What do you think of Colonel McRae?" "What do you mean, Sir?" asked CSM Ponds. "I mean Sergeant Major Ponds, do you like him or not?" CSM Ponds shuffled his feet some before answering. "I guess I like him, Sir." "Get em' Off" Shank threw his hands in the air. "What do you mean guess! It's a simple question requiring a simple answer. Yes or No!" Defense Attorney Shank glanced at the judge and then back to the Sergeant Major. "Did you serve with him in Iraq?" CSM Ponds shuffled his feet again and glanced at Prosecutor Bates, looking for help.

I object, your Honor! I object! The Defense is brow-beating the witness!" Defense Attorney "Get-em' Off" Shank turned to "Hangin'" Judge Dewey. "I need some room to question this witness, your Honor. He's the prosecutions star witness and I intend to prove he's prejudicial to my client." "Hangin'" Judge Dewey threw his hand in the air. "I ain't heard anything prejudicial coming from the Sergeant Major's lips. Objection sustained!" "Get-em' Off" Shank sort of leaned back from the witness. He knew there was not going to be an acquittal here today. "Let me rephrase the question, Sergeant Major Ponds. Is Colonel McRae, in your opinion, a capable officer?" Defense Attorney Shank glance at Prosecutor Bates, waiting for the objection. None came. "He's okay." "I see." said Defense Attorney Shank. "Is he knowledgeable about weapons?" CSM Ponds almost gagged trying to hold back the laughter. "Not if he ain't got the smarts to know how to clear a weapon, Sir." "Get em' Off" Shank shook his head and looked at "Hangin'" Judge Dewey. "No further questions from this witness, your Honor. The defense rests it's case."

"Hangin" Judge Dewey motioned to Prosecutor Bates. "You have any summation?"
Prosecutor Bates stood and faced the court. He smoothed down his tie and brushed his shoe against his pants leg. "Your Honor, the defense has presented a totally inept defense for the defendant and as a consequence it has not proven it's case for Colonel McRae.
The prosecution on the other hand..." and Prosecutor Bates turned to the audience with a large grin "that's me, folks." He turned back to "Hangin'" Judge Dewey. "But to get back to the subject at hand, your Honor."
"Hangin'" Judge Dewey looked up from his scotch and water "Please do, Prosecutor, please do."
"The prosecution has proven beyond a doubt, in fact, without a doubt in this world, that Colonel McRae is guilty as hell!" Prosecutor Bates turned back to the court. "You got to live up to your name, your Honor. "Hangin'" is what the defendant deserves!"

The Sentence

"Hangin'" Judge Dewey turned to the accused. "Colonel McRae do you have any kind words to say before I pass judgment?" Colonel McRae nodded his head and stood up. "I'm sorry, sir. I should have checked the weapon before I pulled the trigger. I'm throwing myself at the mercy of the court." "Hangin'" Judge Dewey waved him down with a obscene comment. "I don't want to hear any of your whining, Colonel. This court has heard enough. Your sentence, Colonel McRae is..." and there was this long, long, long pause. "Your sentence will be carried out immediately and in full view of this court." Colonel McRae's knees were shaking like a leaf in a hurricane under that red kilt. "You are sentenced to repeat 'this is a Glock 9mm, remove the magazine, pull the slide back, eject the round, release the slide and pull the trigger'. You are to repeat that 10 times."

Judgment

"1-This is a Glock 9mm, remove the magazine, pull the slide back, eject the round, release the slide and pull the trigger.
"2- This is a Glock 9mm, remove the magazine, pull the slide back, eject the round, release the slide and pull the trigger.
"3- This is a Glock 9mm, remove the magazine, pull the slide back, eject the round, release the slide and pull the trigger.